her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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