her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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