is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
