I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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