Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
