i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
