Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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