it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
