walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize