They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
