wrigley field is MILF paradise
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
