I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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