I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
