He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
