I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
