we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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