Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
