It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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