Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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