Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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