he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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