Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
