Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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