Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
