It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
