we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize