what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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