I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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