how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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