I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize