glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
