So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
