What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
