spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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