she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
