soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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