Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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