I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
