I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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