It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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