im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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