Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
