Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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