I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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