Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
