11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
