I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
