I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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