What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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