Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
