grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
