trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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