im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
