perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
