Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
