Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
