Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
