She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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