It's like God shit irony all over that family
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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