Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
