I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
