I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
