fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
