I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
