yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
