You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
